Snow place like home

There is no better time to experience the outdoors, then in the winter. As a young boy, I had the great opportunity to learn from my Scoutmaster the proper ways to camp in the snow. What follows is my first winter campout.

“Load up the minivan boys!” Scoutmaster Ratchet shouted. “Let’s head to the mountain.”

“What do you mean you need a toilet Scoot? We just left 15 minutes ago!”

“Of course I meant to hit that ice patch and put the van in the ditch Casey. Now get out and help the others push.”

“No Scoot, I don’t think it would help if I got out of the van. My cocoa would get cold.”

“Great job with the van boys, but now it will be dark when we get to camp.”

"And that is why it is important to make sure you use all of the poles to set up your tent. Otherwise your tent collapses under the weight of the snow. Now get the shovels and dig me out."

“How did you lose the pot in the river Casey?”

"Don't worry Scoot, bears hibernate during the winter."

"Why yes, that frozen pond should be strong enough to walk on. Here I'll show you."

"See, always test the ice before you try to walk across it. Now go find some wood so I can dry my clothes."

"No Scoot, there are no sasquatch out. Sasquatch hibernate in the winter too."

"You see boys, the heat from the fire will melt the snow on the tree branches above you, causing it to fall. Now who wants to restart the fire?"

“And that’s why you never put your tent near fire. Nylon is highly flammable. Who wants to learn how to build a snowcave?”

"Badgers? I am not sure if badgers hibernate Scoot. Why do you ask?"

"Now remember boys, it is never a good idea to build your snowcave on a badger den. Hand me more gauze Casey."

"No Alex, I don't recommend taking a hot rock into your sleeping bag with you tonight to stay warm."

"No Casey, not a badger either."

"Cold oatmeal builds character. That was a test to see if any of you would put a tarp on the wood before bed."

“Why didn’t I cover the wood after you went to bed Casey? Now what kind of test would that be?”

"Alright boys, it seems someone left the headlights on and the battery went dead. Who wants to hike to town and call for help?"

The tale of the Crazy Lady

There are many things that go bump in the night. And living in Washington, there is good reason to be scared when you're young and camping in the woods. You never know what might be out there. A wolf, a bear, big foot or even worse....the crazy lady.

In order for you to understand the tale of the crazy lady, I must first explain the setting. Please note that this is a true story. We were four 12 year old boy scouts, myself, my best buddy Alex, Scoot (that wasn't his real name, but that's a whole other story) and Evan Wortman, or EW. We were backpacking from Chinook Pass to White Pass. Joining us was our scoutmaster, Scoutmaster Ratchet and my brother Cooper.

"How long have we been out here?" Scoot asks as we plod along the trail.
"It's been four days," EW replies.
"Wow, four days without TV. That's got to be some sorta' record!" Scoot yells excited.
"I once read a book about how there are these people that live outside and never watch TV," EW tells us.
"Yeah," Alex says, "they're called bums."
"No seriously!" Ew exclaims. "It was amazing!"
"I find it more amazing that you read a book," I add.
EW glances my way and goes to give me a shove. I step back and he looses his footing. Before he can catch himself, the weight of his backpack causes him to fall on his back. He's high-centered and failing about like a....
"TURTLE!" Alex yells.

In backpacking there are two terms for when a backpacker falls. One is ostrich. For this the backpacker looses his footing and falls forward, often smacking his forehead on the ground in front of him. Thus, the ostrich. The second is when a backpacker falls backward and the weight of his pack carries him until he is stuck on his back, legs flailing about trying to get up. And thus, the turtle.

"Oh man!" Scoot shouts. "That was awesome!"
"I don't think it was awesome," EW squeaks as we help him up.
"Hilarious," Alex says as we continue hiking down the trail.

We weren't sure how we had put distance between ourselves and Scoutmaster Ratchet and Cooper. So we decided that maybe we should wait up.

"There is a lake not too far ahead," Alex says while reading the map.
"We can wait for them there," Scoot adds.

A little ways down the trail we found the lake. And it was certainly nothing to brag about. Muck and algae covered the outer edges and mosquitoes created a black cloud around the lake.

"I sure hope they aren't far behind," Alex says and swats a mosquito on his arm.
"Yeah, the water is gross and the bugs are awful!" EW shouts. "Could this lake get any worse?"

As if on cue from that comment "she" came around the corner. A stout, middle-aged woman with curly hair and dark sunglasses. Now that appearance alone wasn't enough to catch our attention, but rather what she was doing. She had her backpack on, and we could tell it was heavy, and in each hand, was a bulging suitcase.

"Excuse me boys!" the woman yells glancing about the four of us. "Where is the drinking fountain!?!"
"Ummm... seeing as how we are about 16 miles from the closest trail head, there isn't one," I tell her.
"WHAT!?! Well then where do I drink water?!?!" She yells.
"We get our water from the lake," Scoot says timidly.
"Lake? Where's the lake?" She asks.
"Right there," EW says pointing to his left. "We're standing right next to it."
"Great! I love water!!!" She yells.

Droping her suitcases and backpack, she heads to the water.

"Did you notice the suitcases?" Scoot asks.
"Yes," I reply. "Something is not right with that lady."
"A crazy lady," Alex whispers.
"Do you think she has a filter?" EW asks.
"Probably not, let's go check," I say.
"What do you think are in the suitcases?" Scoot asks as we head toward the lady.
"Probably clothes," Alex replys. "Or human heads."
"Or birdseed," I add.
"Birdseed?" the other three exclaim.
"Well, you've seen her, would you put it past her?" I ask.
"No, I guess you are right," Scoot says under his breath.

In front of us is the woman, or rather the crazy lady. She is up to her armpits in almost the middle lake, filling up a water bottle.

"Do you have a filter?" Alex shouts to her.
"A filter!?!" She yells. "What would I need one of those for?!?!"
"Because the water is not healthy to drink," Alex yells back.
"Nope!" She screams. "Ain't got one of those!"
"She's got a full backpack and two suitcases, but no filter," EW whispers to us. "Maybe she is crazy."
"Well you can't drink that water!" I yell to her. "Come back out and we'll give you some of our good water!"

She waddles up out of the lake and heads back to camp with us. After we've filled her water bottle with clean water, she sips at it and starts asking us questions.

"Did you boys ride horses in?" She asks.
"No, we hiked," I say.
"Oh," she replys. "I saw a lot of horse prints on the trail. Did you ride elk in?"
"No elk," I say. "We hiked in."
"Oh," she says. "Cause I saw a lot of elk prints on the trail too. Have you ever ridden an elk?"
"Can't say that I have. Have you?"
"No, always wanted too. But just never had the time to learn. Are you lost?"
"No, we know right where we are. We have a map. I'm beginning to think you're lost though."
"A map! You have a map! Can I look at it?"
"Sure," I say and go to grab the map.

As I open it she stares down in anticipation. I show her the trail and where we currently were at.

"And where is Utah?" She asks.
"Well, this is only a map of this trail, so Utah is not on it," I say.
"Have you ever been to Utah?"
"Yes I have."
"I am thinking about hiking there."
"Well good luck."
"Can I have your map to get there?"
"Well, it won't help you get there. But sure. We have a spare."

She grasps the map like I just gave her gold.

Moments later Cooper and Scoutmaster Ratchet show up. We grab our backpacks and start heading for the trail.

"It was nice to meet you," I say to the crazy lady. "We're leaving now. Have a good hike and remember, don't drink the water unpurified."
"I'm hiking to Utah!" She screams. She runs to her gear, throws her backpack on, picks up her suitcases and runs off into the bushes, then pops back out. Looks back at us and runs off down the trail.

"What was that all about?" Scoutmaster Ratchet asks looking at us in disbelief.
"It's a very long story," Alex replys. "But let's start hiking. Thankgoodness we're heading the other way from that lady. And let's pick up the pace a bit."
"What if she follows us?" Scoot asks.
"She won't," EW says. "She's hiking to Utah."

We all share a quick, almost nervous laugh and exchange glances.

As we start heading down the trail Scoot hollars.

"Wait! Wait!"

We all turn around expecting to be staring at the crazy lady again.

"We forgot to get our elk to ride out," he says with a big grin.

This time the laughs were real as we started back on our way.

Falconry blogs and the Outdoor Bloggers Summit

Today's post is a compliment to our friends over at Outdoor Bloggers Summit. Earlier this month they unveiled a new Web site and it is great! You can view it HERE or you can click the button to the right side of the page. Yes, right. Right that way and scroll down ====>

The sight is very appealing to the eye in a brown color and it looks like leather. The links are easy to find and the information is useful.

But my favorite section of the blog is the "Summit Supporter Blogroll."

This section lists all of the blogs that are friends with the Outdoor Bloggers Summit. (Yes, our very own Just South of North is on this roll)

The sites are, for the most part, outdoor sites. There are a number of categories that the supporter blogs are divided into depending on the topics that the blog covers. These include: Boating/Watersports, Fishing, Hunting, Hiking/Climbing and more. JustSON falls under the General Outdoors topic since when we do post about the outdoors, its a wide variety of topics. That's because we have a wide variety of interests in different outdoor adventures.

There are some great blogs on there too. They are all linked up through their names.

Today while I was on there, one section of the blogroll really caught my eye. And that was the section titled, "Falconry."

As I stated before, we have a wide variety of outdoor interest here, so I instantly thought, sweet birds! And then I thought, this is the next Northern Rangers video! So we'll se what we can do about that.

There are three blogs linked up on the Outdoors Bloggers Summit under Falconry: Another Falconry Blog, Harris’ Hawk Blog, and Operation Delta Duck.

I have looked around on all three and all three impressed me. Each one seems to update on a very frequent basis.

One blog on Harris' Hawk Blog really caught my attention. It was a post on Barred Owls.

Here's the link: http://hawkingharrisblog.blogspot.com/2009/04/barred-owls.html

But to get you to go to the site, here's a bit from the post:

Barred owls are a large owl that live over most of the eastern US. They have recently taken the blame for the decline in numbers of spotted owls in Northwest. One of the threats to many raptors are car strikes. There are a bunch of raptors that hunt along the edge of the roadway, and they sometimes forget to look both ways.

The pictures are great too, and it's a good story about trying to help animals.

Each of these blogs are worth a read, so check them out and learn something about a sport that I bet you don't know much about.

One chapter closes, but another will open

I just stumbled upon this article in the Spokesman Review from November 30, 2008 by Rich Landers.

McManus humor era ending at Outdoor Life

Economy terminates Spokane author's 40 years of 'Exit Laughing'

Humor is the latest victim in economic tsunami that's sinking many outdoor industry markets.

Patrick F. McManus, Outdoor Life's iconic back page humor writer, says the magazine has terminated his contract for budget reasons.

The Spokane writer has written the "Exit Laughing" column for 28 years in Outdoor Life and for 12 years before that in Field & Stream — the nation's top two hunting and fishing magazines.

Asked if there was anything special or inspiring about writing for those outdoor giants for so many years, McManus deadpanned, "They paid me a lot of money — which I will miss."

Being among the most highly paid contributors apparently factored into the editor's decision to terminate McManus, a top name in outdoor humor across the country. The top-selling writer has more than two million of his 18 books in print.

"The magazines are just running out of cash," he said last week. "We parted on good terms."

He said his last Exit Laughing column for Outdoor Life is already written and will be published in April.

"I'm 75, and it feels kind of good to wake up in the morning and not have a deadline," he said.

That doesn't mean he's retiring.

The former Eastern Washington University writing instructor has just finished his third mystery novel, due to be published in 2009 by Simon & Schuster. "It's called 'The Double-Jack Murders,'" he said. "A double-jack is a two-man drilling operation from the old mining days. It's where the dumb guy holds the drill while the other guy hits it with a sledge hammer."

He plans to write for other publications, and he's started an autobiography as well as a new one-man comedy stage play, adding to the repertoire local actor Tim Behrens has performed across the country.

But maybe the days are numbered for new adventures featuring McManus characters Rancid Crabtree and Crazy Eddie Muldoon and the ripe humor always in stock at Grogan's War Surplus.

"My first magazine story was published in Sports Illustrated in 1968, and a couple of months later I sold my first humor piece to Field & Stream," he said, noting that the contrast was a revelation.

"I worked two or three months on the SI story, but I wrote the humor story for Field & Stream in something like an hour or two, just off the top of my head, with no research, no facts to check, no photographs required. I wisely realized this is the way to go."

At the peak of publishing collections of his outdoor magazine stories in books, McManus spent 100 nights one year in hotel rooms traveling across the country for readings.

"That was before the airlines deteriorated," he said. "I don't think I could do that again."

The outdoors has been the most fertile ground for McManus-style humor.

"I grew up in Idaho where hunting, fishing, hiking and camping were central to my life," he said, noting that insight is like a scalpel for reaching a person's funny bone.

"I came to have this pretty deep understanding of what motivates outdoors people — and what scares the hell out of them.

"I remember getting a letter from a little kid who said he was thinking about sleeping out in his back yard and he asked if I had any advice —of course I did."

McManus found laughing matter in the ageless angle of the outdoorsman's quest for freedom and self-sufficiency.

"All outdoorsmen can relate to their first camping trip," he said. "There's so much anticipation and excitement and then, 'Oh, how could I be so stupid as to forget that it gets dark at night?'

"There might be a lot of things about life I don't understand, but I understood that."

Now for those of you readers who don't know, I grew up reading Patrick McManus. And my dad reading McManus to me before that. Many good campout days were ended sitting around the campfire listening to McManus' stories.

He actually is the reason I wanted to pursue outdoor humor writing. I went to Eastern Washington University to be a Physical Therapist, and left with a degree in Journalism. Sure I can write other stuff, but humor is what I really love.

And although I have been busy, and my writing at the moment doesn't extend past this blog, I will drop a hint at some big things happening in the future. For those readers of The Easterner, perhaps a new edition of, The Great Outdoors.

And so Mr. McManus, I greatly await your next book, as well as your biography. I already own 12 of your 18 books. Although I have read them all. Thank goodness for public libraries.